I have to agree, young german men are sooooo rude. its part of a bigger self-centered attitude culture of krautland as a whole.

It isn’t the way you and your kids are dressed. To make a blanket statement, uh, this place is hardly fashion forward. Great thinkers, yes, Great artists, not so much. Mint and poop brown are not the colors to mix in a business suit.

And the scent? well, perhaps i shouldn’t go here, but when one wears acrylic all the time, like many deutschers, well, scent doesn’t seem to be an issue.

Fat? Well, yes. Fat gets more stares than a mini skirt with pubes visable.

People stare or make comments. BUT at some point, you just have to let it go. It’s obnoxious and rude and all that. I know, I really, really do. I talk all the time about putting on emotional armor to go out into the world here. I still get the looks even though I’m 60 kilos lighter than I used to be, I’m still not german skinny (and that being a relative term because most germans are not US skinny, but rather a bit meaty)

It could also be that you are very american looking. Different here gets stares. It could be that your are speaking english with the kids. It could be that you smile, make eye contact or simply that you try to be polite. Try being rude. It’s not your nature, but i bet people notice you less.

But for your own mental health, at some point you just have to let it go.

One of the best pieces of wisdom I got from a therapist i once saw was this. “what other people think about you is none of your business.”

At first I thought she was being rude, but over the years, I learned to mind my own business and not allow other people who mean nothing to me and I will never see again control how i feel about me, myself and I. Its hard. I ended up having to make it a note and repeat it to myself until it became more natural.

You’re fat. So what? You smell good. Your husband and children love you. They don’t care. I bet your daughter sees you and smiles. What could be better than that. And you get an entire bench for you and your kids and you don’t have to expose them to rude, stinky people. And you can teach them to loves themselves as much as you love them.

Lisa, knowing you personally, i can tell you that I adore you. You’re smart, witty and extremely lovable. I’d share a bench with you and your kids.

Don’t give the bastards the power to make you feel less than. you’re not.

My husband used to think I was paranoid but now I’ve pointed it out and proved it to him he can’t deny it either. What he’s asking me now is why I care. The answer to that is: I don’t, but it’s happening so often it’s beginning to be a steady inconvenience. It’s *irritating*! And yes, it hurts. I wouldn’t be human if it didn’t.

About the young, childless men here, may I say a hearty resounding YES. It never fails to surprise me.

All of this is my way of saying, it’s not you, it’s them :)